Tell Me, Darling Page 8

“Sam!” said Sadie. “You never told us! So that’s who you went to visit last weekend.”

  “Yep,” said Sam. “But what about you? Ever fallen over your feet for a guy?”

  “Not really,” said Sadie. “At least – maybe I did once but it ended so badly that I don’t have too many good memories.”

  “Tell us more, Nursie,” said Sam. “This is getting interesting. I’m thinking one blue toe, one orange. What do you think?”

  “Go for it,” said Sadie. “Okay – I’ll tell you. Not because it’s entertaining but because young impressionable girls like Caitlin need to hear about guys like my ex.”

  “Did he cheat on you?” asked Caitlin.

  “No,” said Sadie. “No way. I met him at church when I was eighteen. I thought he was wonderful at first, and my parents liked him even better than I did. For a few months I was happy – he said he loved me and he wanted to marry me one day, and he would write me cards and tell me I was beautiful. We were youth group leaders together, and we would pray together and go to church together. I was really happy. Then one day he said he thought the shirt I was wearing was too tight. And when I wore make-up, he would say it was too much and I was trying to get other guys’ attention.”

  “One of those,” said Sam. “I can see already why this didn’t end well.”

  “One of those?” asked Caitlin. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean one of those guys who thinks he owns you because he’s got you into his bed. Who thinks he can tell you what to do and treat you like rubbish.”

  “I never slept with him,” said Sadie. “We were Christians; we didn’t believe in sex before marriage.”

  “Wow,” said Sam. “Go on. This is more interesting than I thought it would be.”

  “I told him I was not trying to attract anyone else,” said Sadie. “He ended up shouting at me, and then apologising in tears, saying he didn’t know what had come over him. And then it went on and on like that – he would get jealous and controlling and tell me I was a terrible sinner and full of wickedness, and that I was stupid and didn’t understand him, and that I was lucky he didn’t leave me. I would try to argue back, and we’d have a fight, and then he would cry and say he was so sorry and he was the stupid sinful one. He’d promise never to say those things again, but he always did. It just got worse and worse every time and I think I started to believe it was my fault, and that I was all those things he said.”

  “I can’t believe this, Sadie,” said Caitlin. “I can’t believe a guy would be so horrible to you!”

  “Oh Caitlin,” said Sadie, “there are so many things that happen behind closed doors that you would never believe. One day he took my shoulders and shook me so hard I had bruises. That was when it clicked – he was never going to change, and I had to get out. Two years – I wasted two years of my life with him.”

  “Wow,” said Caitlin. “What an idiot. And he said he was a Christian?”

  “Churches are full of hypocrites,” said Sam. “Glad you got out of that one, Sadie. My sister had a boyfriend like that once. I bet no one believed you about how bad it was.”

  “No,” said Sadie. “My parents did – they saw the bruises. They even sent me to counselling for a while, and that helped a lot. But our friends didn’t really get it. He was just too nice to everyone else. No one actually said it, but I know they wondered if I was lying.”

  “Are you still a Christian?” asked Caitlin. “That must have put you off a lot.”

  This time it was Sadie who blushed. “It did,” she said. “I’m still figuring that out. Sometimes I feel that I still believe everything I did before, and that if I just deny it all then Paul has won. But I’m confused. I’ve spent a year trying not to think about all that too much.”

  “I bet he wouldn’t approve of your blue hair,” laughed Sam. “Or that nose stud.”

  Sadie grinned. “You are so right, Sam,” she said. “Or green toes. What do you think, girls – this one or the sparkly one?”

  Chapter 16

  It was Sunday, Sadie’s first real day off, and she wondered what she would do. She had a few errands to do in the village, which meant a walk through the woods and the country lanes, and then she thought she would come back and just relax. She wondered if she should try and find Gabriel, to explain the other night, but he seemed to have got the message. He wasn’t unfriendly, but he hadn’t surprised her with hugs at meal times or called her his “chica bonita” again. She was relieved that it seemed to be unnecessary to explain, and also relieved that she had been right about the casualness of what had happened between them.

  She thought it might be a little strange to be here, off duty, while the new intake of kids was arriving and getting settled, but she knew Alvin and Jonesy had it all under control. She had no desire to go to London for the day or to explore any further on her own. But first – breakfast. And no red T-shirt today! She took a while to choose her first real clothes in two weeks. She settled on a white blouse, a little crumpled, but the furthest thing from red she could find.

  She was sitting with Jonesy and Caitlin eating granola and yoghurt when Joe joined them. He caught her eye briefly as he sat down. Something was different about him – Sadie couldn’t quite put her finger on it.

  “First day off, hey Joe?” said Jonesy, who was happily making her way through a plate of eggs, with a double portion of bacon thanks to her veggie friend. “Sadie’s also looking smashing in her real clothes today.” Then Sadie realised what it was – he wasn’t wearing his red camp T-shirt. He had on a smart golf shirt, with a collar, light blue. Just the same as his eyes. She surreptitiously looked around the side of the table – yes, no trainers; he had proper shoes on, and dark jeans. She wondered where he was going.

  “Just the morning, I think,” he said, buttering his toast. “I think I should be here when the new kids arrive. We have ten Lebanese kids due at about five.”

  “It was sad to say good bye to Alexei and the other Russians,” said Sadie. “They were so cool, so different to us.”

  Joe looked at her, amused. “I used to think South Africans would be just as different as Russians,” he said.

  “Come on,” said Caitlin. “You must have watched sport and seen South Africans on TV.”

  “I suppose,” said Joe. “The only one I’ve ever really known is Alvin, and he is different. His accent is different, the food he likes is different, he listens to music I’ve never heard before. With you – I don’t know what it is. Your culture isn’t like his.”

  Sadie smiled and shook her head. “If you ever come to South Africa one day you’ll understand. They call us the Rainbow Nation. We are a true mix of all kinds of things. And you must have noticed, even though my hair is blue – Alvin’s ancestors were probably slaves at the Cape, from Malaysia and Madagascar and all kinds of places. My ancestors came from Stratford and Edinburgh.”

  Jonesy laughed. “Yeah well, they don’t say ‘yeeees’ in Stratford, Nursie.” She turned to Joe and Caitlin. “Isn’t it funny the way she says ‘yes’ all flat like that?”

  “Alvin says “Ja” all the time. You don’t, Sadie,” said Caitlin.

  “I have stopped saying that until I get home. It’s easier to just say ‘yeah’ like the rest of you. I feel like a German if I say it here.”

  Caitlin giggled but Joe was serious. “I’d love to come to South Africa one day. The politics are fascinating.”

  “Oh, my hat, politics are fascinating,” said Jonesy, smacking herself dramatically on the head. “Fascinating as watching paint dry. Tell her what you’re doing your big thesis on, Joe. Sadie, you’ve got to hear this – he’s taking all the most depressing parts of school history and put them into one big long boring essay. Sorry Joe, no offence. I just don’t get why you want to pore over all that.”

  Sadie was intrigued. “Tell me,” she said. “I want to hear.”

  Joe gave Jonesy a frown and turned to Sadie. “I’m researching the connection between poverty and war,” he said
. “The idea that the natural resources of the earth and the natural desire of human beings to work and take care of themselves is enough to provide for all six billion of us, and more if necessary. It’s war, injustice, oppression and political instability that leads to poverty, want and suffering.” He paused. “That’s about it.”

  Sadie was impressed. “Wow,” she said. “That sounds …”

  “Boring?” asked Joe.

  “No – I was going to say it sounds like something you’d hear in church.” Sadie felt a little self-conscious saying that. It betrayed a little of the past and background that until now she had been happy to keep hidden.

  Joe gave her a quizzical look, then looked at his watch and jumped up. “I have to go,” he said, and left.

  Jonesy laughed as she scraped the last of her eggs from her plate. “Joe Donovan,” she said. “King of the fast exit. One minute you’re talking to him and the next he’s halfway down the street on his bike. Gotta love him, though.”

  Sadie shook her head. It had been a rather hasty exit. Sometimes Joe was so kind and nice, but he could be so abrupt and insensitive too. She finished her breakfast, handed the keys to the medical cupboard to Jonesy and went off to fetch her bag, looking forward to her walk to the village. Injustice causes poverty and suffering, she thought, as she walked through the grounds towards the gate. She was reminded of the suffering, poverty and violence she had seen every day in the government hospitals during her nursing training, and the hopeless feelings she had sometimes had about the future of her country. She wouldn’t want to write a thesis on it, but she didn’t think it was boring either.

  Chapter 17

  When Sadie arrived for her shift in the office on Monday morning, and saw Joe standing at his desk, her heart sank. His whole body was tense, the frown was back and she could see he was struggling to stay calm.

  “I cannot understand how this could happen,” he said, his voice strained and measured. “It is beyond unbelievable, even for Camp Bellevue.”

  “I’m scared to ask,” said Sadie.

  “You should be,’ said Jonesy. She held out a postcard. “Look at this.”

  Sadie took the postcard, a picture of a European mountain scene. It was written in German and addressed: “Liebe Heinrich”.

  “Who’s Heinrich?” asked Sadie. “We have a Gunther and a Hans, but no Heinrich.”

  “It’s been lying in the inbox for a week,” said Alvin. “It’s from a parent to a child at our camp.”

  “Except that we have no such child at our camp,” said Joe. “And when I checked the email with the list for the airport pick up, his name was on it. He just never got here.”

  “Oh, my goodness,” said Sadie. “There’s a child who is supposed to be here, but he never arrived? And his parents think he’s here?”

  “I don’t know how it happened,” said Joe, shaking his head. “It was the first week, when everything was so crazy and stressful – I can’t believe I didn’t check the driver’s list from the airport against the original one.” Joe looked as if he was about to throw up. “It’s all my fault.”

  “It is not,” said Jonesy. “You worked yourself to a standstill over those few days. It’s Head Office’s fault. They abandoned you to it and left you to do everything.”

  “Let’s not get into whose fault it is,” said Sadie. “We have to figure out where this kid is.”

  Joe sat down on a chair, his head in his hands.

  “Best case he’s at one of the other camps,” said Alvin. “Worst case, he got left behind at the airport and something happened to him, and that’s highly unlikely. There’s no point getting into a state until we figure it out.”

  “I’ll call Head Office,” said Joe, quietly. Sadie felt her heart tug at the deep stress in his voice. “They won’t be happy. What if something has happened to him?”

  “You’re not getting on the phone to Head Office,” said Sadie. “Will you let me try and sort it out?”

  “Yes! That’s what we should do!” said Jonesy. “Sadie has a way with these things. Magic in her voice or something. Let her do it, Joe.”

  Joe looked up. “You saved the day last week, Sadie,” he said. “If you can find this kid and get us out of this mess – it will be a miracle.”

  Sadie sat down at the desk and picked up the phone. Joe needed a miracle, and she planned to be the one to give it to him.

  Two hours later, Jonesy sat with a cup of coffee at a table in the dining hall, telling the story of how Sadie had saved the day – again. “You should have heard her,” she said to the gathered crowd of SGL’s at tea time. “She calls up Head Office, and for some reason she knows the name of the bird she’s speaking to and she’s asking her about her sick dog and her sore back – then she casually says she’s trying to sort out some paperwork and could this person be a darling and email her the list of campers at the two other residential camps – and so in ten minutes we have proof that Liebe Heinrich is alive and well and happily sitting in an English class in the camp at Brentwell Hall. That’s when Joe starts taking in air again after nearly suffocating with stress. I swear, I was about to get Sadie off the phone and start CPR on him. Then she calls Brentwell Hall and chats to the admin bird for five minutes about T-shirts and swimming coaches, and next thing we have an email with a scanned list of kids arriving at the airport with Heinrich’s name handwritten on the bottom – the Camp Director there is in the muck now for adding the kid in without checking where he was actually supposed to be. Then she calls the bus driver and it turns out he had a list from Head Office without Heinrich’s name on it, and then there’s another call to the bird at Head Office with the sick dog and the sore back, and it turns out Head Office had swapped him to the other camp, and didn’t tell his parents or Brentwood Hall Admin!”

  “Bloody Norah!” said Sam. “This is like a soap opera!”

  “Sadie for President!” shouted Raj, slapping her on the back.

  “Wait, wait, there’s more,” said Jonesy, getting excited and waving her hands around. “While we are all heaving sighs of relief that this is more someone else’s stuff up than ours, and Joe’s breathing is going back to normal, Sadie’s into the email and she figures out that the list Joe had with Heinrich’s name on it was sent to him after our kids arrived and were all accounted for. So, we did nothing wrong – except perhaps for not noticing the blooming postcard for a week.”

  “What a relief,” said Ingrid. “That is really shocking administration from Head Office. Well done, Sadie!”

  “Someone just didn’t follow all the steps,” said Sadie. “It happens sometimes. I’m just glad Liebe Heinrich is okay and wasn’t kidnapped or sold into slavery.” She felt a little embarrassed at all the attention she was getting. It had been enough for her that the boy was found and that Joe wasn’t in trouble. Joe went way beyond his job description to make sure the kids were all right, and he didn’t deserve to be in trouble. It had been easy – just a few phone calls and polite requests.

  After tea, Sadie had a gap and went back to Room 13 to do some paperwork. After a few minutes there was a knock at the door. It was Joe.

  “Hi,” he said. She noticed that he was rubbing his forehead again as he had the night of the last fire alarm.

  “Hi,” she said. “You have another migraine?”

  He grinned wryly, his forehead creased with pain. “Yes. All that stress this morning knocked me again.”

  “Hopefully these will help,” she said, going to her cupboard and handing him another blister pack of capsules.

  “Thank you, Sadie,” he said. “You were my miracle today. You fixed it all without any shouting or blame or panic. So graciously. I’m in awe, actually. Thank you.”

  She stood, holding out the painkillers, for once unable to think of anything to say. She was his miracle? That had sent a shiver down her spine. Now he stood in front of her, his blue eyes fixed on hers, a smile on his face even though he was in pain, and it felt wonderful. It was worth the effort to
make you happy, she wanted to say. And she didn’t want to take her eyes away from his.

  When she realised that she had held his gaze for a little longer than was comfortable, she shook her head and said lightly, “It’s a pleasure, Joe. Just doing my job again.”

  “Doing it brilliantly,” he said. He took the pills and then did the last thing she expected – he stepped forward and gave her a quick hug, then turned and walked off down the passage, rubbing his forehead again.

  Sadie stood watching him go. Had Joe just hugged her? Had she imagined it? The staff hugged each other all the time – Sadie had hugged them all, probably, many times since she had met them. But not Joe. He didn’t seem to be the huggy type. And yet he had just hugged her. And she had liked it, very much. She shook her head and went back inside, sitting down on the chair with her paperwork again. Don’t be ridiculous, Sadie, she told herself, picking up her pen. Don’t be an idiot. One minute you’re thinking about finding true love and the next you’re crushing on your boss, who after the next couple of weeks you are unlikely ever to see again. Don’t be ridiculous! She began to fill in the form in front of her, but it took a good few minutes of admonishing herself before the image of those blue eyes, and the feel of the brief pressure of his body against hers, faded enough for her to concentrate and get it done.

  Chapter 18

  The next few days were so full and busy that Sadie didn’t find it too hard to ignore or brush aside the annoying thoughts she kept having about Joe. She went to the pub one evening with Sam, Raj, Emma and some of the other staff – thankfully not Gabriel who was on night duty that evening – and had a fun time. Raj got plastered again and had to be guided home and helped into bed after puking into the flowerbeds. Emma didn’t seem to mind – she just laughed as he sat on her lap and talked nonsense for half the evening. It had been funny the first time but this time Sadie felt sorry for him; embarrassed on his behalf.