Tell Me, Darling Page 9

  The Lebanese kids had arrived, and so had a few from South America – Argentinians and Venezuelans. There were eighty kids at the camp that week, and the SGL’s now had ten in each group, but by now things were running smoothly and the days ticked over mostly without incident. A few of the Italian kids had their last week at camp ruined by a tummy bug that did the rounds, and Sadie had a few nights up in the small hours with vomiting children missing their mothers. The doctor had to be called when someone got hit in the head with a golf club, and Sadie cleaned up more grazes and scrapes from the tennis courts and the soccer fields than she had the previous week. She didn’t see Gabriel around much, thankfully – he didn’t avoid her but he didn’t seek her out either. The staff had another punch party in the lounge but it was the night after the tummy bugs had kept her up, and Sadie chose to skip that and go to bed.

  It was tea time on Thursday when an aunt of one of the Austrian kids, who owned a bakery in a town nearby and had come to visit her niece, left a huge cake in the office for the staff. Jonesy called over as many of them over as she could find to get a piece. It was a huge Black Forest Cake, dripping with chocolate and cherries and cream. Alvin found some paper plates, Joe shared it out and they all went out to the grass and sat in a big bunch to enjoy it. Sadie and Sam were on a mission to get Richard to notice Caitlin, so they steered her towards where he sat and plonked her down next to him. Caitlin glared at them, blushing like mad, but then Richard said Hi and started talking to her. Sadie and Sam winked at each other and started eating their cake.

  Sam took a bite of hers. “Oh my God,” she said, closing her eyes. “Jesus Christ Almighty!”

  Sadie flinched. She had never said anything about it to Sam but sometimes when she spoke like that the hairs stood up on the back of her neck.

  “This is unbelievable,” said Raj, red cherry smudged around his mouth. “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!”

  Emma laughed, and so did Leon, Johan, Mitch and some of the other guys sitting with them, but Sadie shook her head. It was too much. She may be on the run from being a real Christian but it was still horrible to hear people say his name like that. She had to say something.

  “RAJ!” Sadie turned her head. She had been about to ask Raj to stop but someone had beaten her to it. To her astonishment it was Joe, sitting just behind them on the grass.

  “Raj and Sam,” he said again, more quietly. “Could you find some other words to express your feelings?” he said. “That is really hard for some of us to hear.”

  Raj was surprised. So was Sadie. “Pardon?” he said, craning his neck to look behind him. He looked a little angry. “Are you serious?”

  “I am,” said Joe. “I think it’s disrespectful and I’m asking you to stop.”

  “Disrespectful to whom?” asked Raj.

  “To anyone who thinks that name deserves a little more than being used to express your feelings about a cake.” Joe’s expression was again, unreadable. “And to Jesus himself.”

  “As if he’s a real person,” said Raj. “Come on. They’re just words.”

  “I don’t like it either,” said Sadie. “Sorry guys. I’ve been wanting to ask you not to for ages.”

  “You do have one of the cleanest mouths around here, Nursie,” said Sam. “I thought it was a South African thing. And I guess after what you told us the other day … yeah. Sorry.”

  “No way,” said Alvin. “South Africans can curse as well as the rest of the world. Well – maybe not quite as well as you lot.” Jonesy and Sam laughed at that. Joe didn’t, and neither did Sadie.

  “To be honest it freaks me out too,” said Caitlin. “I’m not religious but it makes me think of my granny turning in her grave.”

  “Okay, okay,” said Sam, taking another bite of cake. “Keep your shirts on. We can say something else instead, right Raj?”

  “Yeah,” muttered Raj, still glaring at Joe. Joe met his gaze, but he wasn’t angry. What was that look? Sadie wondered. He wasn’t losing his temper and he didn’t look as if he was mad or anything. He looked as if he was thinking about something else. She couldn’t figure it out.

  Raj had a few more suggestions about how he could communicate how amazing the cake was, all of them crude and sexual. Sadie felt her face going red at some of his expressions, and even Emma opened her eyes wide at one point and gave him a cuff on the ear. “Excuse me,” said Joe, getting up and going back to the office. Raj carried on, and had Johan and some of the other guys bellowing with laughter before Sam got up and smacked him on his head, harder than Emma had.

  “Don’t be an eejit,” she said. “Now you’re disrespecting women. Maybe I agree with Joe – the cake is amazing but to talk like that isn’t nice. Let’s keep a cake just a cake, boys. Leave girls’ private parts and religion out of it.”

  “Yeah!” said Caitlin, giving Sam a high five. A few of the other staff members clapped, even some of the guys, like Richard and Gabriel. Raj looked annoyed. In a few minutes he and the guys he had been laughing with got up and left, leaving Sadie, Sam, Alvin and a few others sitting with their plates of the cake that had caused all the trouble.

  “Sorry Sadie,” said Sam, reaching out and giving her a side hug. “Didn’t know it bothered you. I’ll try to keep my cursing PG from now on.”

  “Thanks Sam,” said Sadie, grateful for Sam’s thick skin. “I know I haven’t said much about it, but Jesus isn’t just a name to me.”

  “Okay, I hear you,” said Sam. “I didn’t expect that from Joe, though, did you?”

  “Joe’s not into swearing,” said Alvin.

  Sadie realised that it was true – she had never heard Joe swear. So far in her experience, on average the British people she had met swore constantly, in many and varied ways. The Camp Bellevue staff were no exception. But not Joe. She wondered why.

  “And now,” said Sam, turning to Alvin and speaking in the poshest British accent she could, as if she had a hot potato in her mouth, “Would you like a piece of this … exemplary cake?”

  “Oh, thank you, dahling,” said Alvin, playing along as if he was on the set of Downton Abbey. “My goodness, this is superb!”

  Sadie giggled as she finally started on her slice. It was delicious.

  Chapter 19

  Sadie spun around on the dance floor, the short skirt of her one and only dress feeling light and cool on her legs on this warm evening. The dress was just plain black, but it had thin straps and a twirly skirt and made her feel pretty. She had done her hair up in a twist and found some flowers to stick into it. The hall was lit up with disco lights and a DJ had been hired, and the kids and staff had just filed in, dressed as smartly as whatever they had brought along allowed. The Italians were leaving the next day, and Sadie felt sad to say good bye to Francesco and Virginia and the others she had got to know.

  “Come on!” she shouted above the music, taking Francesco and another boy by the hand and leading them to the floor. “Show me how you dance in Italy!” The boys laughed and showed off their moves.

  The strobe lights flashed as they danced, turning everyone into staccato robots. It was almost bizarre, she thought – that she had been hired to be a nurse, but here she was dancing to One Direction with a bunch of teenagers, strange languages buzzing all around her. She felt strangely happy this evening – today she had managed to avoid Joe completely and had begun to believe her silly crush would pass if she just made an effort not to think about it. She had even sat on a bench at one of the far corners of the school grounds with her phone during a gap in her schedule and summoned up the courage to listen to some Christian songs. She had been almost afraid to do it, knowing the emotions they would likely stir up on her heart, but instead of feeling guilty and condemned she had felt something more like coming home. Oh, I have been so stupid, Lord, she prayed. I thought I could put you on hold and move away from what I know is good. I have been so foolish. I can never run away from you. She had sat on the bench and had a little cry, still feeling afraid to think about spiritual thin
gs, but had walked back to her next duty with a lighter heart and conscience.

  And now – the music was happy; the kids were happy and so was she. She turned away from the Italians to see who else she could dance with, but instead of a group of kids her eyes found Joe, leaning against the wall beside the DJ table with his arms folded only a few metres away from her. He was wearing a dark shirt, and again he seemed so different without his red T-shirt. There was a revolving disco light near him, lighting up his face in flashes, and despite feeling it would be wise to just turn around, Sadie found herself staring. That pose, she thought, that confident, capable pose he had. And the outline of his haircut, the angle of his jaw – it was hard to look away. And that expression on his face – who could know what he was thinking? Was he enduring this, hoping for an incident-free disco party and safe kids, as he kept saying? Was he proud of what he had achieved – a room of happy kids and staff, enjoying their party after a week of hard work? Whatever he was thinking, Sadie just wished she could know. She imagined for a second going up to him, taking his hand and leading him onto the dance floor …

  “Sadie! Come!” She turned to find Emma, wearing a tiny green top that showed off her slim waist, her long hair flying as she took Sadie’s hand and pulled her to the middle of the floor. Emma laughed and faced her, moving to the music, her hands above her head, her eyes closed. Sadie was glad for the interruption and danced along, trying to empty her mind of her silly fantasy.

  “Where’s Raj?” she shouted to Emma, over the music. Emma didn’t respond, just kept dancing lower and lower until she was almost on the ground, and then moving back up again, her eyes closed and a strange smile on her face. “Emma!” said Sadie again. “Are you all right?”

  “I’m perfect,” said Emma, opening her eyes. She put her hands around Sadie’s neck, moving her hips from side to side. Sadie started to feel that something was odd, and wondered if Emma had been drinking, but then she noticed that Emma’s huge green eyes looked even more intense than usual. Her pupils were dilated, way more than they should have been.

  “Emma,” she said, her heart sinking. “Don’t tell me you took something.”

  Emma didn’t answer, just laughed and pushed her hands into Sadie’s hair, closing her eyes again. Sadie took hold of Emma’s hands and pulled them out. Emma was always affectionate, and usually Sadie didn’t mind, but this was just weird.

  “I’m fine,” said Emma, swaying her head from side to side. “I am so fine, Sadie. Don’t worry about me, just dance with me! This music is so incredible!”

  “Later, Emma,” said Sadie. “Maybe you should go somewhere else. What if Joe suspects something? You’ll be sacked.”

  “Don’t worry, Sadie,” said Emma. “Don’t be so boring.”

  She felt something touch her from behind – it was Raj, putting his hands around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder. She turned and looked into his eyes – he was high too. “Raj, you idiot,” she said into his ear over the music. “Say you’re sick and go to bed.”

  “I’m not sick,” said Raj. “Loosen up, Nursie. Dance with us again.”

  Sadie didn’t answer, just left them and moved off to the other side of the hall, wondering what to do. The song ended, and Alvin and Jonesy got onto the stage as the DJ began to play YMCA. Soon they had almost all the kids in the hall doing the actions to the song, and Sadie, caught up in the mood and the dancing, just hoped that whatever Raj and Emma had taken it would wear off soon and no one would know.

  Sadie and Sam were having a rest on chairs against the wall later on, watching Richard dancing with Caitlin and feeling very proud of themselves for being part of having engineered that, when Joe came up and sat next to them. He said something but they were near the huge speakers and couldn’t hear it over the music.

  “What?” yelled Sam, pointing to her ear. He leaned closer.

  “Nice dresses, girls!” he shouted, cupping his hands round his mouth. Sam burst out laughing. She was also wearing her one and only dress, which was tight and white, and glowed strangely in the ultra violet disco light.

  “Thanks Joe,” she yelled. “You don’t look too bad yourself!” Sam reached out and gave one of Joe’s biceps a squeeze. Joe grinned. Sadie was glad for the dark and the strange lights, or he might have seen her blush. The music changed to something quieter.

  “Can I talk to you two?” he asked. They got up and went to the other side of the hall where they could hear each other speak. “What do I do about those two?” said Joe, looking over at Raj and Emma. Sadie’s heart sank again. They were dancing close again, in a way that had the kids around them pointing and giggling.

  Sadie shook her head. “I don’t know,” she said, “I guess you can’t just ignore it.” She was annoyed with her friends for being so stupid. If they had stayed under the radar, then Joe might not realise they were on something. But all they were doing was drawing attention to themselves.

  “Chuck a bucket of water over them,” said Sam. “But yeah – I think a word from you will do the trick.”

  Joe sighed, his eyes on Raj and Emma. “They can’t expect me to ignore that,” he said, as Raj began doing what Sadie could only describe as slithering like a snake around Emma, who was beginning to look as if she was in a trance. “All right. Thanks,” he said, walking towards the dance floor.

  “Sam,” said Sadie. “They are going to be in big trouble.”

  Sam shook her head. “They need to get a room,” she said.

  “No – I mean they’re on something,” said Sadie. “If Joe isn’t stupid, he’ll see it.”

  “Idiots,” said Sam, shaking her head. “Stupid is one thing Joe is not.”

  Sadie watched as Joe went up to Raj and tapped him on the back, then leaned towards him to say something. Sadie could see Raj bristling, but he stopped and took Emma’s hand, and said something back to Joe. Joe put his hand on Emma’s shoulder. He was looking at her eyes, she thought. They were so busted.

  Next thing Raj and Emma were exiting the hall, and Joe was coming back to Sam and Sadie.

  He shook his head. “Do they think I’m stupid?” he said, the familiar frown creasing his forehead again. “They’re high as kites.” Sadie could see he was angry, but it was more than that. He was concerned, and genuinely at a loss about what to do. “I can’t have the kids noticing and telling their parents that the staff were on drugs!”

  “No,” said Sam. “I thought Raj was acting a bit odd earlier. I’ll go and check on them, make sure they stay out of the way.”

  “Thanks,” said Joe, as Sam left. Joe and Sadie were left alone.

  “It was going so well,” said Sadie.

  “It still is,” said Joe, gesturing to the hall of dancing kids, his face lightening up a little. “Hopefully I can sweep this one under the carpet. I don’t know why they would think that it was okay to do that. Really, I don’t get it.”

  “They’re young,” said Sadie. “They know there’s a world of experiences out there, and they want a share of it. To them, it feels more important than anything else.”

  Joe looked at Sadie for a moment. “It sounds as if you speak from experience,” he said. “But you’re not much older than they are, and I doubt you would do something like that.”

  Sadie shrugged, her face and her conscience burning at his comment. She had, once, at a club. Her curiosity had won out over her common sense and she had spent a night feeling as if she was on a different planet. In the morning, finding herself back in her room with Linda, without a clear memory of how she had got there, she had decided it had been a mistake, and she hadn’t been tempted again.

  “I think not all of us are sure about who we are and where we want to go,” she said. “We have to test a whole lot of waters before we figure out what we want to do with our lives.”

  “Maybe that’s not what we should be trying to figure out,” said Joe. “Maybe it’s not about what you want, it’s about what’s right. And wise.”

  Sadie didn’t kn
ow what to say. He moved off to talk to Jonesy, who was beckoning for him to come to the front of the hall, and she headed back to the dance floor, his words repeating themselves in her mind. Maybe I’ve been doing this growing up thing all wrong, she thought. I can find my way, refuse to be mediocre and still do the right thing. The wise thing. Wise – what a funny, churchy word for Joe to use.

  Chapter 20

  The next day was Saturday. There was an outing planned, a shopping trip to the nearest reasonably large town with half the kids, who hadn’t been on the same trip the week before. Sadie, Jonesy, Caitlin and Richard had to accompany them, and by the time Sadie got home in the late afternoon she was exhausted. It was so stressful trying to keep track of where everyone was, and manage bathroom stops and packed lunches. When the bus finally pulled into the school and all forty kids were safely back, Sadie felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She went to the dining hall, hoping to get a cup of tea, and saw at once that something was wrong.

  Raj sat a table, his arms folded, his face clouded and angry. Leon, Gabriel, Ian and some of the other guys were there too, and Sam and Caitlin. She got her tea and joined them. “What’s wrong?” she said.

  “He’s done it this time,” said Raj, almost spitting out the words. “He’s fired Johan.”

  “What?” Sadie was shocked. Johan, the sweet guy from Rotterdam who laughed at her Afrikaans – what could he possibly have done? “Why?”

  “Come on, Raj,” said Sam. “He deserved it.” Raj shook his head. He’s sulking, Sadie thought.

  Caitlin explained. “Jonesy saw some of the Italian boys passing around a flask. It turned out they had a stash of booze in the dorm. Like – bottles and bottles. And Johan had gone to the off licence in the village and bought it all for them. Luckily they hadn’t a chance to drink much yet.”

  “What?” Sadie could hardly believe her ears. “He bought alcohol for the kids? What was he thinking?”